Divorce and Separation child custody mediation
It's obvious that separation and divorce is not easy for adults. There is a lot to consider, a lot to work out. Some divorces become battles, while others are more amicable. Whether the divorce is loud and raucous or quiet and friendly, it is no doubt also difficult for the children involved.
Often children express their upset feelings in obvious ways with acting out behaviors. They may become aggressive and angry. They may start getting in more trouble at home and at school. They may begin to be the class clown or the school bully.
Children may become more emotional. They may seem to cry at the drop of the hat or even for no apparent reason at all. They may be irritable. They may become fearful with fears that resurface or new ones that have never before been experienced. Nightmares may begin. They may regress, acting younger than their age.
Other children may become withdrawn. They may seem to isolate themselves from their peers or their family. They may begin to eat less or more. They may seem to sleep all the time. They may seem to lose themselves in a daze or even in books. They may separate from others through tv, video games, or music.
Some children seem to show no symptoms at all or even seem to improve. This could be because they are very resiliant and have good coping skills and supports. Or it may be because they are trying to overcompensate for the loss and change as an escape or technique to join the separating parents.
Whatever the experience, whatever the symptoms, it is often a good idea to seek support to discuss as a family what changes are taking place. In therapy sessions, there is a objective party to make sure that everyone is given the opportunity to communicate their feelings and thoughts. A therapist can guide a family in their restructuring so that each individual can feel a little better about the road ahead.
As your child's therapist, I will provide support and psychoeducation around the divorce process. I work with children to be able to identify, express, and manage their feelings appropriately, learn to verbalize their needs to get help or support, and normalize, validate, and process their experience. I do not provide information for custody decisions, provide evaluations, or go to court to assist in custody, visitation, or to help decide parental fitness. I do not choose sides. My goal is to help your child, and the family, get through this difficult time and come through to the other side.
Blended Families
Although it is a happy occassion, blending families is not always easy. Some children still have unresolved feelings about their other parent. Some may be fearful of memories from a previous marriage that didn't go well. Some children may be concerned they will get lost in the shuffle. Children also have a hard time learning how to share their parent with the significant other, and even more so the new children joining the family.
In therapy, your child will learn how to express feelings and needs to family members. I will assist in helping your child to identify and learn to use coping skills. I will assist the family in better communication and listening skills. My goal is for your family to create and strengthen bonds, to learn to work together and support each other, and to help create unity.